53. Uncle Acid and The Deadbeats
Koko
25 April 2014
It was one of those evenings the universe files under “Character Building”, which is code for “It’s going to be mildly funny to everyone except you.”
The plan? Simple: dinner and a gig with a mate. The execution? An absolute farce. We began at the wrong end of Camden, lured by the seductive promise of ribs and cocktails at some shiny new establishment nearer to KOKO.
A rookie mistake. It started off well enough but quickly descended into the sort of culinary hostage situation where your food arrives long after hope has died and been buried under gallons of over-sweet cocktails. By the time the ribs showed up, we were half-feral, eyeing the napkin dispenser like an option.
Still, we figured we were only fashionably late. You know, arriving just after the support act, gliding in as the lights dim, everyone clapping, whilst we revel in our perfectly executed time management skills. That sort of late. Instead, we wandered into the venue just in time to hear the lead singer chirp, “Thank you, London! This is our last song!”
We stood there, blinking, with the horrible realisation that the band started an hour earlier than expected, and we’ve strolled in like clueless punters at the end of song bloody ten. And yes, the final song happened to be “13 Candles,” the very track I was most hoping to hear, which made the whole affair feel like the universe patting me on the head and whispering, “You can have one. No more.”
The song was great, in that fleeting, blurry, cruel way good things are when they arrive far too late. And then it was done. Over. Everyone shuffled out in a daze, basking in post-gig euphoria while we lingered in a haze of misfired plans and meaty regrets. So no, I can’t honestly review the gig. But I can review the evening: one star. Not for the show, lord knows we missed most of that, but for the sheer disappointment at a Tex Mex that has now long since closed, deservedly so. The moral? Always check the set times. Never trust ribs. And next time, just order the bloody burger.